A Beautiful New World
by LisaDouglas
Summary: The Carson's romance, marriage and battle to have a baby. Set in various times from 1896-1915. A prequel to A Brave New World. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Come Away With Me

Ch 1- Come Away With Me

July 31st, 1896

She blushed, smiling from ear to ear, turning away quickly when her eyes met his piercing gaze from across the crowded servant's hall. Elsie Hughes had been the new maid at Downton Abbey just shy of a month, and even from her first moments there it had been obvious to her that Carson, the butler, had noticed her.

It was the end of the summer social season, and the family would be returning from London in just three short days. As such, the servants who had stayed behind at the abbey were having a rambunctious end of season celebration to commemorate the end of their own vacation. The festivities were proving too be far too wild for Carson's standards and too childish for Elsie's.

The young woman sat shyly on one side of the hall, watching everyone dance, drink and generally make a fool, out of themselves, the room overtaken by the sounds of loud music, clapping and cheering. She was overwhelmed, not by the noise, or the commotion but by the unrelenting gaze of the handsome butler who sat on the other side of the room. Normally, Carson would've called the crowd to order long ago, but he found himself transfixed by the vision before him.

Elsie smiled back nervously, even sweetly, averting her own gaze every few moments. She was very flattered at the thought that he noticed her because the feeling was mutual. Elsie had had very few romantic interludes in her life and didn't know how to react to the man whose gaze shook her to the core and awakened parts of her she didn't know existed. She wiped her sweaty palms on her knees, smiling back dreamily without meaning to: she was staring now too.

Only weeks before, when she'd left her native Scotland, she'd received a marriage proposal from her neighbor and childhood friend, Joe Burns: a nice man whom she had no feeling for. Elsie had been somewhat conflicted when she'd left, her mother's warning about becoming an old maid (literally) echoing in her mind as the train inched its way out of the Scottish highlands and into the Yorkshire countryside. Throughout the journey, she'd wondered if it were possible to find a man who would treat her as she desired to be treated: who didn't mind the independent streak she treasured about herself, but still treated her as his treasure. A man who saw her as his love but didn't expect her to slave her life away on a farm and bare him nine children. Desire to not live life destined to be the overwrought mother of nine was what had pushed Elsie to seek a new, independent life in Yorkshire: old maid or not. Somehow, even now she was not that farm girl anymore.

Elsie didn't want to miss out on life. She craved a man whom she loved, desired and treasured with all her heart, body and soul. She had spent her entire journey to a new country and home, wondering if such a man existed anywhere in the world, and what it would feel like to know him.

Elsie looked up again, finding that Mr. Carson had still not adverted his gaze. She wasn't sure how you would describe the way he looked at her, it was a kindness mixed with something much more than that, something an innocent young woman of her time knew little of, save what her body occasionally reminded her of. All she knew was that his presence gave her butterflies in her stomach and made her heart start to beat rapidly. One day, she'd come to recognize the look he was giving her as having to do with both a depth of love and a sense of longing: it was a how he would always look at her when he made love to her with his eyes.

She couldn't help but smile when he walked into the room and worse, blush when he spoke to her, which was quite often. That and the uncharacteristic clumsiness she had developed in his presence proved both embarrassing and unnerving. She'd never experienced anything like it before in her life and hated that it gave her away: she liked him and he knew it.

She would never know it with the way he stared, but she made him as nervous as humanly possible. He couldn't get the image of her out of his mind, particularly he kept thinking of the first moment he'd laid eyes on her, just a few weeks before. It was the very end of May, just before the family left on holiday and he'd been tasked with bringing the new maid into the house. He hadn't been sure what he'd been expecting, probably just what they always were: either a crusty old maid, or a little girl who he thought was too young to be working and would eventually decide to take a guarded sense of pity on.

But his heart had practically stopped when a footman had brought him a beautiful young woman whose smile and bright blue eyes struck him in an instant. She'd been so radiantly beautiful to him that he was almost afraid to look at her, and from that moment he'd been hooked. He'd never forget that she wore a baby blue sweater that made her eyes shine bright, or that something about her smile spoke to his heart, telling him she'd been made just for him to love. It'd taken him several seconds too long to say anything to her, her Scottish brogue like a lullaby to him when she spoke. And then there was just her: he admired a woman like her, young and unafraid who'd come here to have a life on her terms, instead of her family's. Everything about Elsie Hughes captivated him, drawing him into her like an unstoppable force. He was enthralled.

Carson stopped, his breath catching in his throat when Elsie looked up at him again from her place across the room. He could tell that she was reluctant but curious herself, and that he could scarcely believe. The party was growing increasingly loud, and wilder by the moment. The noise and chaos engulfed the room but the two seemed to block it out, both cautiously transfixed on the other now. He thought of getting up and asking her to dance but changed his mind, thinking intently about what to do and not daring to break the close eye contact they shared.

At first, he hadn't wanted to pursue her; too afraid of what he thought would be inevitable rejection. And then there was another part of him; one that resided deep inside and never rested: it ate at his psyche and even his soul, compelling him to engage with her whatever the costs. It was almost as if every breath he took depended on contact with Elsie Hughes.

It was that that compelled him to get up and cross the room, his spirit emboldening with each step he took in her direction. He didn't break his gaze with her as he approached, almost seeming to encroach on her like a lion squaring in carefully on its prey. From Elsie's view his gravitation toward her in the crowded servant's hall, turned dance hall was like a parting of the sea. They were not alone, but there the two of them were, by themselves in their own universe. For her, all was silent save the thudding of her heart in her ears, and everything else was a blur as he came clearly into view, extending his hand to her. She expected a dance invitation, but instead he asked:

"Miss Hughes, would you like to sneak away with me?"

Elsie looked up wide-eyed and surprised, suddenly smiling bright as she took his hand feeling everything within her electrify as she let him pull her onto her feet.


	2. It Felt Just Right

Ch 2- It Felt Just Right

Carson stared back almost speechless as they walked along the path toward the garden. Elsie blushed, noting that his gaze had never left her all this time. She felt like something about the way he stared should have bothered her but it didn't. Elsie couldn't name it in the moment, but in the coming days and weeks she'd note that he looked at her with a sense of awe, admiration and just the perfect amount of lust. She didn't realize she was staring back at him in just the same way, her eyes almost drilling into his, locking into his gaze and enticing him to pursue her further.

The sun hung low in the sky beginning to set in the distance, its decent dimmed the light just a little as it does on a summer evening, causing a cool, but gentle breeze to pick up, signaling that although darkness was coming the night was young, and ripe for men to come out and play.

Elsie smiled back at him, watching his strong arms carefully as they walked together, finding she longed for him to hold her tight. She was shocked, almost frightened by the thought. It hit her like a shockwave at first, it's affect slowing as she realized how right the mere idea of it felt. He turned to her warmly and smiled as they entered the garden. He wanted, with everything in him, to extend his hand to hers but felt it was too soon.

"Thank you for coming away with me." He smiled instead.

Elsie almost gulped, her heart pounding at the sight of his smile. She'd never known feelings like this and certainly had never had them for the man who'd asked for her hand back home in Scotland. Elsie knew that whatever came of her life, she'd rather have known Mr. Carson's smile even just once, than spent a lifetime at Joe's side. Something deep inside Elsie quietly wished that Carson would desire her as Joe had, not knowing he already loved her in a way Joe never could've even after a life spent together.

Carson thought it was the garden's best time of year: when it was most lush and full of life. He picked a single white rose and handed it to her, causing her to blush again. No one had ever given her flowers before in all her life, not even just one and she was overwhelmed by the sweetness of the gesture. He watched her carefully as she closed her eyes and put her nose in it, admiring her long beautiful lashes and the soft curve of her face. He couldn't say, even to himself, how much he longed to take her face in hand and guide it toward his, sinking his lips into her own.

"It's beautiful." She smiled.

'Not more so than you.' He longed to confess.

"No one's ever given me flowers before."

Carson said nothing for a moment, thinking about how he wanted to give her so much he knew she hadn't had. He knew she'd been a poor farm girl who lived with little. He longed to ensure not just that she was cared for, but that she have some beauty and happiness in her life, the kind that such a lovely woman deserved. He'd overheard her tell Mrs. Patmore (as they were becoming friends and exchanging stories in the way many women do when they first know each other) that her father had been present but uninvolved. From the moment he'd discovered that, Carson had wanted to be the man in her life, the one she'd never had before. He almost ached to love her, protect her and show her everything a good man could be: to show her she was his treasure.

After a moment he realized he'd said nothing and yet she was still smiling back. No one had ever put Carson at a loss for words before Elsie Hughes came along and he was unsettled by it, not really knowing how to react. He was a bit more experienced than she, but the things she did to him, the way she tripped him up: it all scared him. When his thoughts finally stopped, Carson noted that they were both staring, her eyes locked on his. She blinked, as she looked up at him, her eyes warm but wandering, almost searching for something, her smile tender.

'My Elsie.' He whispered under his breath. She couldn't hear the words but seemed to understand what he met.

He swallowed, barely able to breathe, as his heart started to pound, anticipating what he thought would be a kiss. He pulled back when their lips didn't meet, both of their hearts heavy with disappointment.

'She can't love me.' He thought.

'No one will ever love me. Not someone like him.' She smiled bittersweetly, clutching the white rose in her hand.

Touched by the rose, she considered it a precious gift and planned to press it and keep it tucked away forever. Perhaps it would be the only gift she ever received from a man she loved. And so she planned to keep it, as a wonderful memory and a testament to the fact that she'd once loved someone very much. Carson's heart was heavy and Elsie felt on the brink of tears as they made their way through the garden, each inching a little closer to the other.

"Miss Hughes, have you spent much time in town?" He inquired as they continued their walk and she clutched her rose, as if to beg God for him to feel something for her.

She shook her head, "I have not Mr. Carson. I've only been the once when I arrived."

"Well that was a month ago, over that now."

Elsie worked herself to the bone and had not had the time or strength to explore the village yet. She figured, hopefully, she'd have many years ahead at Downton to do so. So far, she'd spent her time off resting, exploring the grounds or socializing with her new friend, Mrs. Patmore.

"I'd be happy to show you around, but first, are you hungry, I know a lovely little place."

….

Elsie was surprised by the place he took her. She'd expected a pub, or something of the sort, not a tiny, elegant restaurant emblazed in candlelight. She didn't think she'd ever been to such a beautiful establishment in all her life and looked around in wonderment, her eyes aglow. He watched her closely, having of course already made a habit of studying her. By now he knew her almost intimately: her quirks, mannerisms, reactions. He'd even committed all the lines of her face, the curves of her cheeks and lips to memory. In all these weeks he'd never seen her so amazed, and took joy in watching her beautiful blue eyes just sparkle. He wished he could really make her that happy, that he could make her world anew and see her eyes sparkle every day of his life.

'I want nothing but to love you.' His conscious whispered, but his lips new better and stayed quiet.

"A toast." He said instead, pouring a bit more wine for each of them. She blushed, reaching out to take the glass and toast him. He paused for a moment, wanting to make a toast to his wishes for a life with her, but instead said something a bit more generic: "To your time here."

The couple drank with ease but found themselves almost too nervous to eat. Food was the farthest thing from either of their minds right then. To Mr. Smith, the proprietor of the restaurant, it appeared to be an awkward business. He noted the body language between the two the moment they'd walked in, seeing that they were both hesitant but transfixed on each other at the same time, seeming to shut down the bulk of the world around them in favor of each other.

For Charlie and Elsie, none of this was awkward. While fearful, they felt absolutely in sync with each other. Neither of them were shy, but both found themselves afraid to say as much as they'd like. Each spoke with trepidation at first, but went ahead anyway, feeling a pressing need to find out more about the other, their curiosity and growing comfort triumphing over their fear with each passing breath. Elsie looked back at him, convinced a man such as this could never love her in the way she loved him. Charlie felt that rejection was likely immanent but that life depended on contact with Elsie Hughes, and that he had to engage with her, whatever the costs, afraid or not.

Mr. Smith had never seen the formidable butler quite like he was that night. He observed that Carson had let his guard down, as if he were a fearful, but eager schoolboy. In just an instant, the restaurateur knew the spell that seemed to transfix the two was simply love at its purest… and perhaps a little bit of lust at it's most primal.

Elsie felt increasingly drawn into him as they spoke, their awkward pauses gradually turning into laughter. They didn't realize that neither of them stopped blushing the entire time. He found himself simply glued to her smile and the way it played across her beautiful lips. He watched as she laughed, having to hold himself back from leaning across the table and seizing her lips with his.

Instead of kissing her, he decided to try a slightly less bold move and took her hand as they got up to leave. His heart flipped as she accepted the gesture, squeezing his hand and making sure he wouldn't let go of her. He was floored, having been sure she'd pull away, even at the suggestion that they might hold hands.

Carson felt powerless as they left the restaurant. The last thing on earth he wanted was to return to Downton. He felt like he'd be missing some great chance in doing so, but he wasn't sure what it could be. All he knew was that he wanted to prolong things, to keep her at his side as long as possible.

"Where to now Mr. Carson?" She asked, looking up at him as they walked out into the night.

"How would you like to do a little bit of stargazing?"

…

"It's so beautiful." She paused, looking up at the stars.

He swallowed hard. He wasn't looking at the sky, he couldn't. On that night, he found that for him, the wonders of the universe existed only within the confines of her eyes.

Carson had taken her back to a secluded part of Downton's garden. It was a long ways away from the house, a lonely grassy spot on top of a little hill. It was a place where the night was dark but the stars shone bright, seeming to give off a little glimpse of heaven. It was a true, moonlight garden and she was overwhelmed by the romantic gesture he'd made in bringing her there.

She giggled, looking back at him, for the first time noting just how much he was staring. Her eyes locked into his in an instant and they paused, searching each other's gaze. Both of their hearts began to pound as he leaned in ever so slowly, brushing his lips against hers. Her first kiss started out chaste and pure, but took a drastic turn when it came time for them to pull apart. They paused for just a moment, allowing each other a breath before he dove back in, pressing his lips hard against hers. She parted her lips, tilting her head as he gently cupped her cheeks in his hands. Elsie hadn't really known how to kiss before this, but quickly responded in kind, kissing him eagerly in reply.

Carson stared back at her, almost shaking when they finally pulled apart. He rested his forehead against hers, unwilling to part with her completely, both of them panting as she reached up to brush his face. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she rubbed her nose against his, leaning in after a second and continuing the kiss. Carson couldn't believe he'd been brave enough to kiss her and that it'd delighted her so. He didn't think anything in life had ever brought him so much relief or joy. He sunk back into her lips again, more greedily this time, finally allowing himself to admit that he was in love and that she _might_ love him.

Her pulse raced as they pursued each other, wanting more and more even though she felt just about to burst with joy. His gaze had made her heart flutter, but she'd never considered the effect his simple touch would have: she had no earthly words for the electrifyingly wonderful bliss she felt when he touched her.

"I can't live without you." He whispered, his breath brushing her lips softly as he pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers.

Elsie sighed, still in a little bit of a daze. Her eyes were closed and she sat there with him, relishing the feel of having him so close as the warm July breeze floated through her hair. She paused, wondering if it would be right to confess that she loved him.

"A-and." He paused, nervous now, wondering if he was really about to do this. He thought back to earlier when he'd realized that he had no words for how she made him feel, that he had to pursue her whatever the costs: it just felt right. She sighed happily, and in a moment, he knew he had to follow his heart. "And I would love it if you would marry me."

He'd never been so nervous or felt so venerable in his life as he did in those moments between his 'marry me' and her 'yes.' For a moment, he even wondered why he was asking this girl who made him do crazy things like kiss her in a field in the middle of the night, to marry him. But then he realized he was right, he hadn't just said it to say it: he didn't think he could live without her.

She stared back, completely shocked when she heard him ask this. Marriage? A mix of emotions ran through her head. For a moment she was overjoyed, then flattered and then awed, then scared… and suddenly she started to laugh softly, finding it funny she'd experienced so much trepidation with regard to Joe's proposal and that with Charlie her answer had been almost instant.

"W-what's wrong?" He asked, his eyes growing obviously sad.

"Oh yes, yes of course I'll marry you, my Charlie!" She cried, throwing her arms around him and beginning to kiss him again.

He felt such love and relief wash over him the moment he heard her reply. In hindsight, he didn't know if he'd ever been so elated in his life or if anything in the world could ever match the joy he'd experienced when she said yes.

'She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.' He thought. 'She's everything. She's perfect. And she's going to be my wife!'

He said nothing and instead, pressed his lips eagerly into hers again, she shrieked and giggled as he pulled her fully into his arms.

"I love you." He whispered, tears in his eyes.

He ran his fingers through her hair firmly holding her head in his big strong hands. She cried, recognizing that his embrace felt just right.

"Oh Elsie, I love you so much." He whispered into her lips.

This time she was the one to grab his face and initiate the kiss once again. Both were afraid, and at once completely overjoyed. Neither were the type to fall head over heals so expediently, but they understood implicitly what was there, written in the stars before them, and in every gaze, every kiss. Nothing needed to be explained, discussed or declared because nothing had ever felt more right to either of them.

"I've been waiting for you." She whispered as he gently brushed his nose against hers. "I've waited for you for so long. And I can't wait to be your wife."

"Let's do it now." He whispered.

"What?!"

"The family won't return for days. Come away with me, marry me tonight!"

…..

The next thing Elsie knew they were on the train to York, the last one of the evening. She wasn't sure how she felt, going away with him at night when it didn't seem they could be married until morning. The concept scared her a little. Furthermore, she wasn't sure she liked the idea of going away, even for just a day, without having packed anything. The notion of spending her first night with her husband without a nightdress, or getting married without a gown and at least some flowers she liked saddened her. At the same time, she couldn't deny that she loved this man and couldn't wait to marry him. This was the only time they'd be able to sneak away and wed in the foreseeable future and she knew she wanted to jump at it instead of waiting.

Charlie and Elsie were trying their best to keep a safe distance apart on the train. Carson, after all, was ever the proper man and not the type to kiss, as they'd been doing in the garden, in front of so many strangers, and more importantly townspeople who might know them. Even so, they found it difficult not to keep staring. Each of them snuck a few kisses when they were sure no one was looking their way.

As the train rolled along, Carson wondered if he was acting in haste. He looked over at her as she gazed out the window, smiling sweetly. She looked so beautiful to him in that moment that he thought his heart would stop. He couldn't believe she was about to be his. She was breathtaking and in that space in time he noticed how young and innocent she seemed to be compared with him. In that instant, Charlie felt bad. She was a girl in some sense. How could he steal her away so quickly and marry her without a ring, a dress or any of the other niceties that weddings entailed? She deserved those things. He was about to open his mouth to speak when she leaned over and kissed him deeply, making him forget all of his worries for a few seconds.

"I can't wait Charlie." She whispered, her eyes still sparkling.

"Nor can I." He smiled deeply, his heart pierced with happiness as she looked up at him. He placed his nose against hers and sighed, peacefully.

There was so much to be done, but he felt at deep peace, the greatest mystery of his life having been answered that night. She was to be his wife. Elsie felt much the same. She knew without doubt that he was the answer to so much of what she'd been praying for all this time, there could be no other worldly answer to her happiness. She leaned in to sneak one more kiss, sure no one was looking, both of them sad to pull apart when it ended. She knew there would be a lot of that when they returned to Downton: a longing for each other, physical and emotional desire that had to be kept hidden away. Both of them were sad for that.

"I'm so happy, so tickled… so proud that you'd agree to be my wife." He smiled, tears in his eyes.

"Oh my Mr. Carson, from this day forward I will always be yours."

"And you will always be mine, my Mrs. Hughes."

…

Charlie and Elise both felt like they'd made a mistake when they got to York. It was late and while the much bigger town was abuzz they were sure they wouldn't find a place to wed or to hang their heads. They didn't confer about it; but both thought their dilemma made sense. This was the sort of thing that happened when proper, moral, orderly people did madly impulsive things: they ended up in trouble.

Both were nervous if not afraid. It wasn't until they reached their final destination that they began to consider the reality of their situation: they were going to have to sleep together. Carson wouldn't admit it aloud, finding the thought alone ungentlemanly, but every bit of him relished the idea of a night with her, skin on skin, her warm breath against his…

But even so, he had every desire to wait to bed her until they were married. Elsie had similar thoughts about him she wouldn't air, but was also terrified at the idea of going through with it: married or not. It was another reason she'd said no to Joe. She didn't love him nearly enough to be intimate with him. But Charlie. She'd do anything for Charlie no matter how afraid she was. Elsie gulped, realizing that terrified or not, some part of her was anticipating the whole thing.

The couple walked hand-in-hand through the busy streets, unsure of where to go or what they'd done. It would be along time before either of them knew they'd been thinking the same thoughts during that walk. Most notably they both quickly came to the conclusion that while their hasty trip to York might've been a poor choice, their decision to marry would not be.

"Charlie look." She said as they passed the courthouse, noting it was bustling with people just like the street all around it.

He paused and read the sign written in chalk outside. Two of the town's judges were presiding over a community event that night, and another one, over night court.

"Charlie they can marry us."

"Don't be absurd! I'll not have you around _those_ people! Marriage is sacred. It's special. Ours especially. I won't wed you without a proper…"

Elsie laughed. "Oh Mr. Carson, none of this is proper. I haven't got a proper dress; you've not got a ring. I'm wearing black and grey for heavens sakes!"

"I'll buy you a ring." He said, kissing her hand.

"I love you and I know you will." She sighed, understanding he felt bad. "But Charlie. Please understand I came away with you tonight because I love you, and I can't wait to marry you. Can you wait to marry me?"

"No." He admitted, taking both of her hands in his own. "I can't wait to start a life with you."

"Nor I with you. Charlie anywhere I go with you is special. Anywhere we get married is special. Please, make me your wife."

….

"I Elspeth Hughes."

"I Elspeth Hughes." She repeated.

"Take this man to be my…"

Carson and Elsie both felt totally dumbstruck when their ceremony began. They'd started off the evening both so in love they were heartsick, never expecting to get anywhere with talking to each other, much less here before a judge late at night. It was such a strange, surreal thing, but both of them knew without a doubt that they were right where they were met to be. For them, the joyous feeling of having met their destiny was so overwhelming that it seemed to shroud all other possible feeling or understanding in a dense cloud of mystery neither of them cared to understand. They had had ever felt so right about anything in the whole of their lives and they never would again.

Elsie was crying and Carson had tears in his eyes as they exchanged their vows, making promises to love, honor, cherish and obey that both treasured but neither felt conveyed the depth of their love. Both decided they would say those things later, on their first night together as man and wife, and that they'd make a point of saying it, and showing them everyday for the rest of their lives together.

Elsie's heart pounded ferociously as they married, part of her panicked by her choice and what the rest of the night would entail, another part so completely overjoyed: Charlie was her destiny and she his purpose. Both could sense this so definitively in the other that each of them felt whole for the first time in their lives.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." Charlie repeated, kissing her finger instead of placing a ring on it.

"With thy body I thee worship."

"With thy body I thee worship." She blushed when he said this.

"All my other worldly gifts I thee endow."

"All my other worldly gifts I thee endow."

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

The judge watched, as Charlie wasted no time and leaned in, wrapping his arms tightly around Elsie and kissing her deeply. He was slightly astounded, having never expected that night's proceedings would be interrupted by a young couple wanting to wed. Truthfully, he thought it was a nice departure from most of his regular roles, and that it would make a good story to tell one day.

He found the couple a bit overzealous, but sensed that they were committed, that this marriage would be a long and lovely one. He paused, watching the two still entranced in their first kiss, knowing well the spell that seemed to transfix the pair: it was simply love at its purest… and perhaps a little bit of lust at it's most primal.


	3. Ceilidh

Ch 3- Ceilidh

July 31st, 1896

Elsie giggled into her husband's mouth as they walked along, arm in arm, barely parting from each other. He smiled, laughing joyfully as he leaned in to reciprocate the kiss. It was very late in the evening and a beautiful night. They made their way down the still crowded street, their path lit partially by the bright stars above. Far from home, neither of them knew where they were going but didn't have a care in the world so long as they were together and at the beginning of a shared path. A mix of emotions accompanied their newly found wedded state, but chief among those was exhilaration. Carson felt his heart flip three-sixty each time he looked at his new wife.

' _She can't… she can't be mine, my wife.'_ He lost his breath just looking into her eyes.

She felt similarly. She got lost in thought, feeling his strong, warm hand grip hers so tightly. _'Could this really be real, could he have wanted me?'_ She thought, almost beginning to cry as he leaned down again, his breath hot on hers. He paused for a moment before kissing her again, full on the lips. She rubbed her nose sweetly against his as they parted.

"Where to now Mrs. Carson?" He asked, squeezing her hand.

He hadn't let go of her hand since the moment they'd become man and wife and she hadn't wanted him to. The whole thing was surreal for them both and they wanted to make those first minutes, and that whole first night together, last as long as they could. Carson felt badly that he wasn't giving her a real wedding with a ring and guests and their families present. And so it was his intent for the evening to be so memorable that it remain present with him throughout the whole of their married life together.

"We're still on an outing, remember? Me and my beautiful bride."

She giggled delightfully, kissing the tip of his nose. She was enchanted by how sweet he was and in some way relieved that he wasn't ready to rush off to bed just yet.

"Now that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard Mr. Carson."

"What is?" He asked tenderly.

"Mrs. Carson. It's the most lovely name I've ever been called."

"Well you should get used to it as I shall call you it for all my days, my Mrs. Carson."

"I can't wait, my Mr. Carson." She said, standing on her tiptoes and pressing her lips harshly against his.

She didn't care that it was wanton or that they were on the open street and neither did he. Elsie Hughes Carson wanted nothing more than to declare her love to this man in every way she could: in front of a judge, here on the open street, in the hushed quiet of her bed.

"I think I should like to take you dancing. I would love to have a first dance with my beautiful bride." He said.

Elsie smiled deeply, she couldn't think of anything sweeter, or anything she'd like to do more before their first night alone together. Elsie had never been to York and she'd never been dancing with a man before in her life. She'd never been a lot of things. The new Mrs. Carson found herself a little enchanted with her surroundings and swept up into a new world. Being a girl from the Scottish countryside, she'd never been to London, and had only passed through Edinburgh, so York was really the big city for her.

They newlyweds dashed from place to place, unsatisfied with the atmosphere at a couple of the establishments and the dancing at a few of the others. Finally, they came to a small pub at the end of the road and found themselves drawn in by the vibrant sound of Scottish music.

"It's a ceilidh!" Elsie cried with delight. The music engulfed them as they entered the pub. Carson watched entranced as her eyes lit up in a way he'd never seen, not yet realizing she felt at home. "They're doing the Highland barn dance Charlie it's my very favorite!"

Technically she _had_ been dancing before. She'd attended many a highland fling in her time, but not with a beau or even a potential one. Coming here with Charlie was just as new as was everything else but Elsie felt at home in the place immediately and it soothed her nerves about the coming night alone with him. While excited for her new life, she was still in some measure a farm girl from Argyll who didn't know too much about the ways of the world, or even the ways of a man and his wife. So it was nice, on her wedding night, to be immersed an environment that felt like home and to show her new English husband a taste of that place.

"Well then I'd be delighted to dance your favorite with you when they ask for new couples. Until then, I need to toast my bride. " He suggested and she nodded, following him in agreement. The couple made their way to the bar, still hand in hand.

"My love." She sighed. "I like that one too Charlie."

Not thinking the bar its self was a place for a lady, Carson got them a table and sat Elsie down before going to order them a bottle of wine and a special surprise he only hoped the establishment could furnish. It would be the one traditional touch he thought he might be able to add to their wedding. Being a man who was such a stickler for tradition, the fact that he hadn't been able to give her the things that he thought every bride should have nearly made him ill inside, like a failure almost. He couldn't even believe he'd done such a thing, as to elope with this woman he'd only known for several weeks.

But then he caught her smile from across the room as she watched the Highland fling and remembered that tonight wasn't one marked for failure but the greatest of victories. For he'd won the heart of the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and would take joy in spending the rest of the evening fully claiming his prize. Charlie came back to the table with two glasses of red wine, and a man in tow holding the bottle.

"This is the first, and then a little surprise later." He told her.

"A surprise?" She asked curious as the dancing stopped and the surrounding group began to clap.

"I'd like to announce that our next dance will be a traditional reel, a wedding dance because we have newlyweds here tonight!" A man from the bar announced, his Scottish brogue thick. It crossed Elsie's mind that he sounded very much like her own father.

"Isn't that nice? Other newlyweds Charlie." She said, clueless to what was happening.

"Yes it is." Charlie was surprised, but caught on right away. He'd asked for something special for his bride, but this had not been it.

"This dance is in honor of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Carson."

Elsie gasped looking up at him with delight he'd never seen written all over in her eyes. She liked that one too, _Mrs. Charles Carson_.

"Come on my love." He said, taking her hand and kissing it.

Elsie smiled as he led her onto the dance floor, tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe that anyone would do something so sweet. While happy of her marriage, she was in some way sad her family was not there although she was coming to realize (as her new husband pulled her into the crowd for their first of many dances) that soon he would be her home and the only family she needed. Sparks ran through her fingers, up her arm and into her very core at the simple brush of his hand against hers. He leaned in and kissed her empty ring finger before the reel began.

Before the dance, Carson had never given much thought to the fact that he had married a Scottish girl. Prior to that, his main concern had been that he had to have her. He'd never felt this way about anyone or anything in his life. He was so sure of his love and so head over heals that he couldn't let the opportunity to commit himself to her forever pass him by.

He certainly couldn't wait to ask, he couldn't ask and then plan a wedding either… his only choice was then. He had to have her now. Tonight: if she'd have him. To be absolutely sure of it or he'd hate himself forever. A lot of this went back of course to his loss of Alice, but he wasn't even fully conscious of that. He was simply consumed with Elsie.

What he was overly conscious of was the lack of tradition evident in their wedding. He knew that no matter how special, no matter how sacred this day would always be to him, he'd also have to bear the shame that came with the lack of having done some things right. It occurred to him, for example that there'd been no real courtship. That he'd never even asked her father for her hand.

He watched his bride as they danced, her smile reflecting her radiant beauty. She seemed so happy and he found himself glad to have found some of her own people, to supply her with this miniature wedding reception of sorts. Despite the fact that her family was absent, her heritage would not be, something that added to his joy and eased his shame. It struck him as odd that her family didn't know about him. More than odd, _wrong_. But then he realized that was why he loved her: she was an independent woman. A modern woman, but still a proper one: Carson was perplexed by this wondering how he could've ever been attracted to anything _modern_.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her, his heartbeat slowing to a simple thud as she laughed. Everything about her and that smile drew him in, the sound, the shape, the simple way it resonated in his heart. Like everything else about her it would one day serve as a tool for Carson to realize that despite their differences: his love of tradition, her modernity, his sternness, her softness of heart… she'd been made just for him and their fate sealed long before they knew it.

Aside from that, he'd been concerned about her age. He hadn't thought much on it until she brought it up on the train from Downton. He was still a little surprised having been so enamored with her all this time he hadn't noticed how young she seemed. He'd about died when she told him her age:

'I'm 24. An old maid where I come from Mr. Carson.' She'd laughed.

The idea flustered him. He had trouble seeing her as either old or a maid. In his eyes Elsie had three sides. Predominantly, she was a beautiful, respectful young woman who he revered and had fallen in love with. Tonight, he'd discovered her youth and while they were already wed something inside of him was apprehensive about stealing her innocence away.

Carson eyed his beautiful new wife from across the room, feeling a bit like he'd robbed the cradle. She was so young and a flash of innocence gleamed in her eyes he watched her dance. In reality she wasn't so much younger than him, but he had eight years on her, a wealth of time in many ways. She'd been a farm girl not long ago. This was only her second job in service. Meanwhile, he'd been a boy when he'd come to Downton more than a decade previously. But before then, he'd managed to see the world (well, the UK and France…), to know the love of a woman, and to get his heart completely broken by her.

Carson knew the young Miss Hughes was smart enough to understand the ways of the world but in practice, far less worldly than he and it added to his worry about that night and in some odd way, to the allure of it. He wondered what made him good enough in her eyes, and if he were truly worthy of having her, of spoiling her.

Finally there was the third Elsie he saw: the temptress. Something about Elsie tempted him thoroughly, and made him remember after these last few years of chastity, that he was a young, virile man. It'd been something he'd been trying his best to ignore since they'd first meant. He'd desired her so wantonly, from even those first minutes together that now that they were married a huge part of him didn't give a lick about her innocence or any apprehension she might have about their first night together: he just wanted to take her.

Carson couldn't reconcile the feeling within himself: it felt so wrong, so sinful, but so right at once. He didn't know what scared him more, he fact that he'd been thinking such risqué things, or that how he'd felt for Alice was no match for the way in which he desired Elsie Hughes.

He continued to watch Elsie as they danced, seeing her once again as the temptress. A simple glance of the curve of her lips, or the light in her eyes made him think not of her beauty or her innocence, but a night spent in ecstasy with her, her lips paired with his, her eyes wanton and full of lust. That was the least of his imaginings, and he simply hoped that when the time came, she wouldn't feel him too wanton for words. Or worse, too frightening.

As they danced he struggled with what to tell her about how she made him feel, deciding finally, to admit that she simply was his heart. Alice had broken his heart when she deserted him. But Elsie. He loved Elsie so wholly that separation from her in any form, in life or death would render him without a heart at all.

"You're so exceptionally lovely my Mrs. Carson." He told her when they came together again at the end of the dance. She smiled and he leaned down, brushing his lips against hers as the whole dance floor burst into applause.

…

"A toast." He said when they sat down again. He paused, allowing the tears in his eyes to roll down his cheeks freely. "To my exceptionally beautiful wife and our new life together."

"To the sweetest husband in the world and to our wonderful future." They toasted and began to sip when a waiter came by, a huge cake on a platter. Elsie gasped.

"I know its not so ornate given the time but…"

"Charlie it's wonderful!" She squealed.

It wasn't anything too special or all that traditional, but Elsie loved it and knew it would always mean the world to her.

"Charlie you got me a wedding cake." She was openly crying now.

He smiled, reaching out to dry her tears with his thumbs. "No tears now my Elsie. No more tears."

He took the knife in hand and stood, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around hers. She was apprehensive for a split second before realizing what she was doing. She was overwhelmed and began to laugh through her tears. He leaned down to kiss her before he began and she placed her hands on top of his. Together they sliced the first pieces of cake and in accordance with tradition each tried their best, their arms entangled, to feed the other before kissing again. Finally he sat down and they started to eat their cake properly, having given several pieces of the large pastry away to members of their dance party.

"I tried for a traditional wedding cake." He spoke of the chocolate cake before them. "And then for a traditional Scottish wedding cake but this is the best they could do."

"Which is all right because it's lovely Charlie. I love it."

He smiled. "What would a traditional Scottish wedding cake entail I only knew there was one."

"Well." She began. "It's a kind of fruitcake. It's baked when the couple gets engaged."

"Well they wouldn't have had much time." He added and she laughed.

"There are two layers. One tier would've been eaten now, to celebrate the wedding, the second when we had our first baby." She paused, biting her lip nervously.

It was their first mention of children together and the idea made them both anxious and more excited than they could say. They hadn't discussed it yet, but they both wanted children badly. He looked back at her, at the softness in her eyes and suddenly saw a fourth side of Elsie. He didn't realize that he was going to spend the rest of his life discovering sides of this woman, and she sides of him. Suddenly, he found himself wanting nothing more in that moment, than to have a baby with her, a thought that almost shocked him. It was so soon.

More than anything, the mention of a baby brought their nerves about that coming night to the surface, making its reality all the more pronounced. Hours ago they'd gone on a simple stroll, they'd kissed, they'd wed, they were celebrating in this wonderful little pub… but before the sun rose they'd be one.

Elsie blushed at the idea, putting her head down, almost shamed by all the wanton thoughts that came rushing to her own mind. She was scared to death, and while she didn't live in a sack, she found herself realizing she didn't know as much about the coming proceedings as she ought to have for a girl her age.

Despite it all, she found herself unable to hide her smile because she loved this man. Her love for him no match for her fears. And no matter how risqué it seemed, or frightening it felt, Elsie realized that nothing in the world had ever felt so exceptionally right. She thought back to the judge's words, of the life they would share and looked up into Charlie's eyes feeling complete despite her own fears. She smiled and lifted her wine glass to his again. She didn't sense his own fears as she moved to make a toast of her own.

"To my Mr. Carson." She smiled, pausing as she looked over at the busy dance floor.

They were doing the reel again and it reminded her of the way that life flowed and went on in surprising, beautiful ways, just like her sudden marriage and infinite love for this man. In that moment, her fear faded a bit more and she realized that she'd be alright as long as she was with him.

"To my Mr. Carson and my infinite love for you." She said, her eyes brimming with tears.

He raised his glass, tears pouring down his cheeks also. "To my Mrs. Carson, the one who stole my heart away."


	4. Turn Down The Light

Ch 4- Turn Down The Light

Elsie squealed with delight, a little surprised when Charlie lifted her into his arms without warning.

"Oh Charlie." She whispered, gazing up into his eyes.

She got lost in them for a moment, seeing his sweetness and noting the evident lust that burned in his bright brown orbs. Her heart quickened as he leaned down sinking his lips into hers, snatching her breath away. Charlie kissed her deeply, finding the feeling different than before: realizing it was all the more gratifying when she was fully in his grasp. The thought coupled with the sensation exhilarated him, causing his mind to almost explode. He tiled his head, kissing her deeper as he gently kicked the door open and made his way inside.

'She is really mine and I am hers, what in the world could be more wonderful?' He thought.

Elsie felt her heart begin to jump faster as he carried her over the threshold and to the place where they would become one. She was nervous over what was coming but felt calmed by the sensation of his lips and breath hot on hers. Lost in their shared space and their bourgeoning oneness, she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling herself impossibly close to him.

Charlie turned on the light and gently laid his bride on the bed, parting from her with a chaste kiss that carried with it all the tenderness in the world. Elsie giggled almost inaudibly, nervous and giddy as he leaned over her, his hands on either side of her small frame, effectively pinning her to the bed.

"Hello again, Mrs. Carson." He smiled, barely believing he was saying it.

His heart skipped a beat, watching her smile underneath him. Earlier, he'd come to the realization that she was younger than he'd originally thought, and now that he had her pinned within his grasp he finally realized how very small she was. He'd thought her gorgeous and larger than life in such a way that he hadn't previously realized she was so small and just delicate enough for him to break.

"Hello again, Mr. Carson." She almost whispered as he brushed her hair from her face.

Carson grew nervous in that moment, hoping he would not break her, and that she would not fear him. He thought back to their vows, deciding then to make some vows of his own to her that night, and to reinforce what he'd promised earlier: ' _with thy body I thee worship_.' He leaned back in and began to kiss her again, she opened her mouth to him, deepening the kiss and he accepted in surprise, brushing his tongue against hers.

"My beautiful bride." He marveled, whispering tenderly, kissing her nose and lips again when he pulled away.

She longed to keep him there, but let him sit up, feeling she needed a bit of distance and time before anything was consummated. She was surprised when she felt him lean down and remove her shoes. He tossed them to the floor and began to rub her feet gently in his large hands. She marveled at the act for a moment, having always heard from her mother that most men would want you to rub their feet at the end of the day and not exchange the favor. She'd known Charlie was different from other men and wondered what else about him would be unlike the men her mother had told her about.

She sighed as he massaged her aching feet, marveling over how different life had been when she put on those shoes hours before. This morning, she'd been a new senior maid at Downton. One with a crush on the formidable, distinguished, older butler and now at nightfall she was his wife.

"I want you to be comfortable, my love." He said tenderly, letting go of her feet and getting up from his place on the bed.

She watched as he removed his jacket and tossed it on a chair, carefully studying the chiseled muscles of his shoulders that she'd only gotten a glimpse or two of before.

"I ordered some champagne." He informed, rolling up his sleeves. "And am going to build a fire, if you'd like."

"That would be lovely Mr. Carson." She agreed, staring back at him.

The new couple was grateful to find such lovely lodging for their first night together. The hotel was old, as most things were in York at that time, and the room was simple but elegant in its own way. It had a large four-poster bed (Elsie observed it was not much different from the one Lord and Lady Grantham shared, although less ornate), a couple of chairs, a table, a fireplace and a small washroom off of one door. The new couple (who were just getting to know each other in most ways but felt infinitely connected in others) would be eternally grateful for this tiny restroom and the privacy it provided.

Elsie shivered, almost hugging the side of the bed as she sat up, knowing she'd been lying in the place where they together would be forever changed. She watched her new husband carefully as he set to work, building a fire for her, and she started whispering a small prayer about her growing nervousness. It was then she took true notice of the differences between them, and finally looked back at Charlie and saw him for what he was: an older, distinguished man, not a half-witted boy her age. She'd known this the moment she'd fallen for him, but it hadn't really sunk into her conscienceless until now. Elsie suddenly found herself intimidated and a feeling of near dread began to mount. He was a man and she, still a girl more than a woman in some ways. What did she know about pleasing a man? Her mother surely had not told her.

'What if he's not happy with me?' She wondered, drawing in closer to the bed. 'And beyond that, how can I let him see me…'

Elsie was a modest girl, but not a prude. She was a virgin but did not live in a sack. She had knowledge of the ways of the world, and the ways of a man and wife, but didn't know too much of what to expect or how to feel or even what to do. In that light, she supposed Charlie was a wonderful choice of husband and while she sought to please and even impress him, she knew he'd comfort her every step of the way, and always.

Elsie reflected on everything she knew about the coming proceedings and what they entailed. For a moment, she considered bolting from the room. But then she remembered how much she loved him. Scared or not, she was desperately in love, even with the mere idea of him and even though her angst put up a fierce fight, she tried to let her love of him be a beacon of comfort to her.

While more confident about making love than she, he also felt wholly inadequate. He held her in such high esteem he didn't think he could, in any universe be good enough for her. Charlie held back his own nerves, focusing on the vow he was going to make before he took her to bed. His fear fought to dissolve his sound constitution, but instead he focused on the strength he knew he possessed and the joy he'd take in having her as his own in this intimate way a man knew his wife. Carson smiled back at Elsie, standing when he'd finished the fire and came to a realization that he'd remind himself of every day for the rest of his life, already knowing her heart the way he'd one day know the whole of her.

"I'm so very blessed to have married you." He beamed and she blushed.

He approached carefully and once again leaned down to kiss her, this time with a gentle sincerity she found both genuine and reassuring. The kiss grew deeper and the couple jumped when they heard a loud knock on the door. Charlie got up to get it and Elsie took the opportunity to sneak, unnoticed into the restroom.

"Elsie I have… the champagne." He said a bit disappointed when he noticed that she had gone. "Elsie?"

Carson's own nerves came to a head when the waiter shut the door and he realized they were finally wholly and truly alone. Charlie paused when he heard the water running from the tap, realizing she was just in the bath. Not knowing what else to do for the time, he sat on the edge of the bed and began the work of removing his shoes but paused, laying his shaky hand nervously on the bedspread, stroking it softly, barely believing it was the place where he'd be united with the woman he loved. Charlie had thought he'd had this experience once before and supposed, deep down, that this was why he was uneasy. He looked back at the bathroom door for several seconds, expecting the knob to turn but it didn't. He supposed she was nervous and biding her time.

'The woman ought to be more so than the man.' He considered.

He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat, unable to shake his own nerves and looked up, wide-eyed when he heard the door begin to open. He dropped his shoes, staring back, his mouth almost agape when she emerged in just her chemise, her hands covering herself modestly as she blushed. The garment wasn't too revealing, or even very sexy by today's standards. But in 1896, for the kind of people they were, it was somewhat … risqué.

He gulped, the action almost emboldening him as he rose to his feet and approached her, leaning down and sinking his lips deep into hers. It hadn't been his inclination, for he was more nervous now that he'd seen her. But impulse took over and as he sunk into her lips, he grew more uncertain about how much longer he could restrain himself. Elsie wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, resisting the urge to simply pick her up and take her to bed.

"You're a gorgeous bride my Mrs. Hughes." He whispered instead.

Elsie noted a change in his voice. He was breathless now and quicker to speak. Something about his eyes had grown darker. She tilted her head in response and he leaned in to meet her lips once again, the sound of their kisses pared perfectly with the crackling of the fire.

She really was a gorgeous bride, and in that instant, the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. The mere sight of her filled him with a litany of emotions. He was at once scared to death, dumbfounded, shocked, aroused… and most of all so completely tickled that she was his wife.

Elsie's heart thudded, wondering how long this part would last. Full of growing fear, she grabbed his face and stood on her tiptoes, kissing him deeply. He looked down at her hungrily, the lust growing more evident in his eyes when she pulled away and finally, as he took her hands in his own, she gulped.

"I'll take care of you. Always, my Mrs. Carson." He whispered, leaning his

forehead against hers. "To love, honor and cherish, with thy body and the whole of my being I thee worship."

Elsie smiled deeply, comforted by his words and gently rubbed her nose against his. She said nothing further, but just melted into the next kiss, trying to assure herself that the love she felt was strong enough for her to trust him with the whole of her being and this thing they were about to do. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fully relinquish her anxiety.

"Would you like some champagne?" He asked, indicating the tray that had been brought in.

It pained him to ask. He could barely look at her now without wanting to simply take her, but he was determined to soothe her during this process, understanding how afraid she was. She nodded quickly, surprised when he turned the room's gaslight down just a little, dimming the light in the room. Elsie wished it were a bit darker, embarrassed about what was coming, but Charlie thought it was perfect. This way, with a roaring fire and a little bit of lamplight, the hue of the room was romantic but not harsh. There'd be just the right amount of light: enough for him to see her, but not enough to where she felt mortified. Best of all, it was just the right kind of soft glow, the kind that seduction typically chose to come out and play in.

"Thank you." She smiled kindly when she accepted the champagne.

Charlie could tell she was getting nervous, that she was in part withdrawing, retreating inside herself. Something about that hurt then angered him and he wanted to tell her never to keep anything from him. But he'd get to that later.

"A toast." He said, raising his glass to his nervous, but love struck bride. "To my beautiful Elsie and to our many happy years together. To the fact that I know I will look at her every day for the rest of my life, just as I look at her now, with the utmost pride and the greatest joy that she is my wife…"

"Oh Charlie." She whispered. Tears springing to both their eyes in an instant.

The new couple toasted each other and began to drink. Nervous, and more in love than even several minutes before, Elsie did her best to toss back the entire glass of champagne. For that Charlie was glad. He'd been quite liberal on filling the glass; having wanted her to be looser, more care free when it came time to do the deed.

"I will look at you every day." He promised, leaning his forehead against hers. "And each glance will remind me, that I am the happiest, luckiest man on earth, that I…"

Elsie pressed his lips deep into his again, cutting him off as he spoke. He paid no mind, words growing less important to him as the kiss intensified. Her heart leapt when he lifted her into his arms once again, knowing that the inevitable was soon to come and that when it finally did, she'd be unable to resist it.

Elsie sighed into his mouth as he kissed her, laying her slowly on the bed. He sat at her side, pinning her there with a bit of force as they continued their lip lock. Suddenly, she found herself afraid to the point of tears but Carson was almost in ecstasy. Here he was, about to make love to the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. One who unnerved him in the best of ways, who warmed his heart to its core, and who made him feel like his best self.

He could sense her angst but continued to kiss her, trying his best to orient her to their new state before continuing. He took his hand and gently ran it down her side, untying one of the tiny bows on her chemise as he went along. She was surprised at how expertly he managed the garment, quickly realizing he'd done this all before. But she didn't ask who or where or when, she didn't want to know, not then. She gave a sharp breath and shrank back into the mattress as his lips moved from her hers, down to her neck, and she clutched the mattress below.

"Shuu my sweet. It's all all right. You'll like this: I promise."

They'd not discussed it, but he could feel simply by her touch that she'd never done this before. Charlie was honored. He'd get to be her first, and she'd be his and only his for all of time.

'Oh what a gift, my love.' He wanted to say, but refrained.

While excited she was pure, he regretted the fact that he wasn't going to be innocent, bumbling and scared right along with her that night. Looking back at his time with Alice, he felt cheated, even violated that his innocence had been taken by someone so undeserving when he longed, now to give it to the woman who lay nervously in his arms: a woman who he loved so deeply he did not yet have the capacity to understand it.

Carson looked down into her frightened eyes and felt a deep shame come upon him that he'd never feel again in his life. He'd thought he'd loved Alice, but he'd been nothing but a foolhardy boy before now. Nothing could compare to the adoration of Elsie Hughes.

'It's a gift stolen from you.' He thought quietly, his heart sinking.

In some way, Carson would always live with that. In years to come, he'd recall his time with Alice with a pang that stung deep in the heart. It would be nothing more than a resentment; something that robbed from his marriage bed. Even so, he hoped that in Elsie, he could gain back some of the love and trust that had been lost there. Alice's betrayal of him had in some way changed who he was, transforming him from Charlie, the cheerful young performer, to Carson, the formidable, ever proper butler of Downton Abbey. Carson could already feel Elsie already bringing light back into his heart, pride into his soul and youth into his loins.

Carson paused, his heart aching as he felt her tremble in his grasp. The last thing he wanted was for her to be afraid. In that moment he decided to use his ample sexual experience to his advantage and to hers.

"My Mrs. Carson." He whispered kissing her deeply as he weaved his hand

further into the intricate ties of the chemise and the corset below it, working to pull it open just a little bit.

She gasped quietly; feeling the cool air in the room hit her bare skin. He felt her heartbeat pick up in speed as he held her close, and stopped, kissing her forehead.

"My beautiful Mrs. Carson. Do not fear me." He whispered, tracing her chin softly with his thumb. "For I love nothing on earth, more than I love thee."

He felt joy surge within his heart and electrify the confines of his soul even as he looked at her; and when they touched, it was like magic: he wasn't sure anything else in his world had so clearly been meant to be. In that instant, he decided to move forward with that evening with confidence, to guide her, comfort her and most of all: teach her.


	5. Lay Down With Me

Ch 5- Lay Down With Me

"I hope you're not, not frightened." He said, continuing to weave his fingers into her chemise and corset.

Elsie gasped, feeling his soft, wide fingers brush her bare skin for the first time. She hoped he wouldn't find her wanton.

"A little apprehensive, not frightened." She bit her lip and looked back at him in such a way that he thought she was lying.

It was then that Carson came to the realization that she might be one of those girls. He'd heard of them before and always found it surprising. Elsie was smart, it was one of the reasons he'd fallen in love, and it would be a shock to him altogether if she turned out to be one of those women who'd not been taught the ways of life. In that moment he decided to be frank with her, to test the waters.

"Mrs. Carson you've no need to fear me, or to fear this. I will love you; I will push you, but not break you. Y-you know when we do this you might get… well you might be with child, perhaps maybe even right away…"

The idea scared him, that there could be a child just minutes from then and they wouldn't know it for several month's time. Elsie flinched but said nothing, feeling his fingers intrude further into the confines of the garment and run across her bare rib very slowly.

"Some girls…. Some girls their mothers don't tell them much about what men and wives do… about where…"

"I know where babies come from Mr. Carson." She said, pausing for a moment. "And I should like to have yours."

He looked back at her, his eyes wide. He couldn't believe she was so forward. Maybe she was too young…but even if she was it was done now. His heart was forever committed and they were about to be one.

She smiled. "I'll be ready for it now, nine months from now or whenever it happens: I would love to have your child Mr. Carson."

He smiled brightly at her words, deeply touched by the idea that she was ready now to carry his child, to make that kind of commitment to him. "Oh Elsie you would?" He almost gasped.

"Yes. I would love to have your child."

Elsie hadn't wanted a hoard of children, it'd been a reason she'd left Scotland to pursue a life in service. But something about Charlie changed her mind and when she looked into his eyes she found she couldn't imagine anything more for her life than lovingly raising his children. The idea brought fullness to her heart and the happiest tears to his eyes and in an instant she knew it was right.

'Finally.' He thought. 'A woman who loves me as I love her.'

"So you know… you now what will happen? What we're about to…"

"I don't know… I don't know _everything_." She confided, swallowing hard. She knew far less than she cared to admit.

"Well what don't you know?" He inquired.

Elsie paused, unsure of what to say. She loved him, but felt embarrassed to speak of such intimate things. 'He is your husband.' She considered. 'All will be revealed within the coming minutes anyway…' She took a shallow breath. 'My husband.' She considered: she couldn't believe it.

All this time he continued to weave is hand through the chemise and corset in one little spot, his palm now making contact with the smooth, silky skin on the side of her belly. Elise was exhilarated. If it felt this way for him to touch just one little part of her how would the rest of it feel?

"I don't…" She paused, trembling when he touched her.

She didn't know how to say it in the first place and the more he continued on the more she found herself at a total loss for words. He laid his palm flat, doing his best to soothe her as she continued. He'd yet to disrobe and here she was being slowly undressed. It made her feel silly, embarrassed even… but there was something exhilarating about it.

"I'm unsure what I don't know Mr. Carson, only that I know I don't know it." She almost gasped, not understanding the stirring she felt inside as he ran his hand along her middle.

He nodded, understanding the feeling himself. He hadn't known what he thought he did before his first time with a woman and it had been a bit difficult to adjust to, overwhelming in fact. Almost everything he hadn't known had been sensory. He didn't know that he would feel the things he did, or that such feelings even existed. Moreover, he'd known how things worked in theory but not practice. The whole affair was messier than he'd thought before he tried it. It was more intimate than he'd been told and far more pleasurable than he could've ever imagined. Carson looked back at his young wife, noting she was still afraid. And while part of him ached to soothe her, another longed to teach her.

"I will teach you to please me my Mrs. Carson." He told her plainly.

"Oh?" She whispered breathlessly as he trailed his fingers down her side.

"In all the ways a wife should please a man." He whispered.

Within another instant he could no longer resist and found himself sinking into her lips, pursuing her in a way she found she had to yield to. When he finished the kiss he stood and took her hands lifting her up, the room dark now save the glow of the fire. He pulled her tight to him and kissed her again, cradling her as gently as he could, not loosing sight of his already building desire.

"I love you so tremendously, Mrs. Carson." He whispered, sweetly kissing her hand. The young woman looked up at him, entranced and shaking within his embrace. "Are you ready for me to make you my wife?"

She nodded simply, running her shaking hands up his chest.

"In that case." He said. "It's time for your lessons, Mrs. Carson."

Elsie felt her heart pick up with rapid speed as he pulled her back into him and began to kiss her once more, kneading her sides softly as he continued his work loosening the ties of her chemise and corset. She tilted her head, getting lost in the kiss as she felt the garments come loose and finally slip off in his hands. Elsie blushed, pulling away and covering her breasts once her undergarments had slipped off. He distracted her from her next move by kissing her once more and once he'd pulled away, she was amazed to find his shirt gone, exposing his massive, strong chest.

He took her hand again, seeing the trepidation and awe in her eyes, which he knew would only get more intense as the night went on. She scurried to cover herself again, not allowing him a glimpse of her when he grabbed her hand, kissing it gently.

"Don't be afraid, my love." He soothed. "I promise it will be very lovely all our lives together."

Elsie's modesty made him think of Alice, who'd been just the opposite: kind but so eager be with him. He'd been very young and eager himself at the time, but in hindsight he saw her as fast. In that moment he started to wonder just how many there'd been before him. The thought made him ache until he lie his eyes on the sweetest of women his shy, innocent Elsie whose trust it seemed, he was going to have to win.

He approached her again, taking the elbows of her crossed arms in his hands as he started to kiss her. He couldn't say how badly he wanted to move them, to take her hands from her chest by force, but he knew he needed to put her comfort first, even before her lessons. She would trust him in time and soon there would be nothing kept from one another.

Elsie's heart leapt when she felt him lace his fingers between the top of her slip and her back. She thought she'd be sick once it simply dropped at his command.

"Don't hold back my darling." He whispered, cupping her cheeks in his hands as he kissed her. "I want to live a life without secrets between us."

He wanted to go faster but remembered her nervousness and appreciated how much more satisfying it would be to relish every precious moment spent with her. Every bit of passion, of newness, of burgeoning oneness… Carson reconciled himself to the fact that he was wanton and might seem so in her eyes. That would be all right with him if it meant he'd also seem formidable, confident… and all together lovely in them too. She took one of her hands and laid it on his bare chest, pressing his hand over it and held it there on his bare skin. She took a deep breath, shaking a little bit as she felt his heart thud wildly under her palm. It was her first time touching him.

"Don't be afraid." He whispered, leaning in to kiss her once more.

He let go of her hands and kissed her deeply, feeling her meld into his lips. In a way he couldn't believe he had to take such tiny baby steps with her, but in another, he found the idea enticed him somewhat. She shakily let go of her firm hold on her breasts and reached up, running both her hands along his chest.

"Elsie." He tilted his head, whispering into her mouth.

She sighed, feeling her chest finally brush his, skin on skin and wrapped her arms around his neck for the first time, deepening the kiss on her own accord. She wanted to jump: a spark running through her at the brush of their skin.

"My Charlie." She whispered, her breath on his lips. She moaned, deeply confused as he started to kiss her down the line of her jaw and down her neck.

"Charlie…" She gulped, running her fingers through his hair.

Her breath caught in her throat and she found herself frantic and confused when his lips and hands made contact with the supple skin on her breasts, inching down, down, down … Her heart began to pound in fear as he went to work, tracing his tongue over her breasts and finally her nipple. She was scared to death but moaned and pulled his hair as he suckled and nibbled away. Elsie didn't know all that much about sex and while she'd overheard that men liked breasts, had had no idea that _this_ (whatever it was) was a thing. While very afraid, and a bit embarrassed she came within a few seconds time to realize that it must be alright: it felt so tremendously, unspeakably good.

Suddenly and regrettably, she felt him move his head and kiss all the way back up to her lips, retracing the steps he'd just taken before wrapping his arms around her and placing his forehead against hers. She shivered under his touch and he found himself captivated with the timidity she displayed… but there would be no more moves made to comfort her: not before the act itself…. He would get the hard part over with and move on with her lessons.

Elsie gulped as she felt him slide the tips of his fingers into the band of her knickers and tug them off. Her heart began to race faster than she could fathom when she realized she was fully nude.

"Here, let me look at you." He whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

Elsie gulped as he took her hands in his own, squeezing them lovingly as he stood back from her. He took a moment and just stood and stared, his eyes wide. She couldn't look at him and instead found herself staring at the floor, her eyes downcast. The modest young woman was tremendously embarrassed and couldn't bear to be such a fool in his eyes.

"Wow." He whispered and she looked up. "You're so… well you're so beautiful."

She didn't realize it, but she took his breath away. Carson thought back to the way it'd been with Alice… he'd thought her beautiful too, but now that he had Elsie here, like this… he didn't think he'd ever seen anything more gorgeous in all his life.

He shook his head, forgetting himself for a moment before pulling her close to him and giving her a kiss.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she shook in his arms. He reached up and wiped away the tear with the back of his thumb before placing his giant hand on her tummy and pushing her onto the bed and then onto her back. She said nothing but quickly sat up, hugging herself again so as to cover up as much as possible.

Elsie gulped, finding she wasn't as ready for all of this as she'd thought. Her mind rushed. She wasn't ready to be a wife: for this to be her duty, to be with a man in this way. She'd said she knew all about the ways of a man and wife… about how babies were made, but the truth was she'd lied to him. She had her ideas but her mother had never really told her what to expect and she was terrified about what was about to happen… whatever it was. She wanted to run, but with one graze of Charlie's skin across hers she betrayed herself to him. She took a deep breath, everything in her urging her to give herself fully to him.

'He's yours and you're his now lass.' Something inside whispered. 'He loves you and you love him, now what could be more wonderful than all that?'

Elsie tensed up as he leaned down to kiss her, noting that something was happening she couldn't see. Finally, when he pulled away a little she noted that he'd taken his trousers down finally. Very suddenly, she found herself wanting to go back, now more afraid of this than anything else they'd done.

She had been about ready to ask him to stop when with one swift motion he finally slipped off his knickers. Elsie supposed she really did live in a sack. She liked to pretend that she didn't, that she was knowledgeable about the world but knew now she'd just been fooling herself.

'What in the hell is that?' She asked herself. 'And how would it ever fit inside of me…?'

Charlie took his wife's breath away when he leaned down, kissing her fully on the lips, trying his best to distract her from the coming proceedings, knowing she had to be scared. She clutched the sheets beneath her as she scooted back slowly toward the headboard and he crawled onto the bed with her, the room so silent she could hear nothing save for the crackling of the fire and the trumpet-like thundering of her own heart.

Finally, she felt her husband place his hand gently behind her head as he kissed her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he laid her down, gently resting her head on the pillow, his own heart racing beyond what he'd ever thought it could. She resisted the urge to kick or hold back when he took her knees and pulled them apart, Elsie now feeling the need to throw up. She looked up toward the top of the bed, her eyes focused now on the white lace canopy as she felt her husband brush between her legs for the first time, his own eyes studying her carefully. She shuddered, clutching his shoulders, realizing she had just enough time left to say no.

Carson meanwhile nibbled on her neck. He felt like he was in paradise with the most beautiful girl in the world, and while in tune with her hesitancy, had no idea how afraid she really was. Instead of considering her fear, he focused now on making her his wife.

"I'm so sorry if it hurts my love." He whispered and she bristled, feeling the very tip of him slide into her. _Hurt? What did he mean if it hurt? Oh… that was right._ "I'm so sorry if it hurts." He soothed, whispering in her ear.

Elsie's heart pounded as she spread her legs wider and clutched the sheets below her, beginning to panic at the reminder that this would be painful.

"Don't be so nervous my sweetheart." He soothed, realizing that perhaps he shouldn't have warned her about the possibility of pain. "It'll make it worse, just relax my Elspeth."

Elsie took a deep breath, inhaling sharply as she felt him slide against her a bit more, gently at first. She winced as she felt him pressing deeper, deeper, deeper until finally he hit a limit and she moaned in pain. Elsie was terrified, having not realized just how much this would hurt. He pulled out swiftly almost all the way, leaving her relieved and a little confused. No sooner had he left her to wonder than she felt him slide all the way back inside with a force that left her in searing agony.

"Ahhhh!" She cried out, feeling like she'd been ripped open from the inside.

Elsie started to cry as she clutched his back, nails into skin, tears pouring down her cheeks. She clung to him wanting to confess that it hurt so much, but she refrained.

'Oh good lord!' She thought. 'What've I gotten myself into… it can't hurt this much every time?!' She thought.

He stayed that way for a moment, holding her as she cried and adjusted to the feeling of feeling incredibly, painfully full. His heart dropped and he held her tight as she cried, kissing her hair and doing the best to wipe all her tears away. He felt terrible about the fact that this hurt, especially since she felt so great he thought he might die. In the midst of her agony, he finally felt home. He could feel her writing in pain under him, but he could also feel her body start to totally give in to his…

"It's over, worst is over my darling." He whispered, kissing her neck and just resting there for a moment, giving her time to adjust to him.

"Charlie…" She cried, kissing his neck in reply as the pain started to fade and the first hint of pleasure started to build within her. "Charlie, my Charlie…."

"That's right my beautiful wife. Give in… this will be the good part…"

Elsie looked up at him and into his eyes as leaned down to kiss her lips, finally beginning to move within her and she gasped aloud. Her uncertainty faded away as she melted into his hands like the most easily pliable dough. He moaned as his skin faded into hers and as they became one flesh something deep inside their souls calmed and would be put to rest for all of time.

…..

Elsie sighed, her head against Charlie's chest, as they lay wrapped up in blankets in front of the fire. She couldn't believe that it was done now, that she was all right and more in love with this man than ever before. She sighed, both of them exhausted from the act done on repeat over the course of several hours. The blood had dried, the pain had faded into pleasure but she still hadn't known what it was that caused her to melt like butter in his nimble hands. Whatever it was, the mystery of life was no longer a thing of imagination to her and something inside her felt not just whole, but one with him.

'We're a we now.' She thought as he held her close, playing with her hand.

She kissed his chest, everything they'd just done consuming her even now: filling her heart and her head. She couldn't say what had been the most exhilarating or surprising aspect of their love making and had no concept of the fact that she was still going to be making many new discoveries in this way.

Elsie was fascinated though, about how her hesitancy had mostly faded away, quickly replaced with eagerness she still didn't understand. She'd cried out breathlessly, her mind almost spinning in expectation of what was to come. Something about his touch enthralled her, forcing her to submit to him in ways she hadn't known were possible.

"I'm so glad you still love me." He said, tears in his eyes, holding her tight to his chest.

"Oh Mr. Carson…. Indeed I do love you." She said, spellbound by him. "And I'm really your wife now." She whispered. "For now and forever."

…..

"Mmmm." She moaned, her eyes fluttering open as she stirred.

Elsie woke surprised, having forgotten in sleep what transpired the previous night. She sighed, sinking further into his arms, enjoying the feeling of being skin to skin with him, wrapped in his strong but loving embrace. She turned around in her sleeping husband's arms, his firm grip on her remaining intact. Elsie was overwhelmed in the best of ways: she was married and so in love. She couldn't believe she was there all-alone with him, tucked away in a stolen corner of the universe. Elsie wondered how many more stolen corners there would be, and saw this already as a rare treat. She didn't know what they would do yet, but assumed the marriage would be a secret, at least for at time.

She smiled at him, watching him snore peacefully and placed a kiss, and then another on the center of his chest causing him to grip her tighter around her middle. He sighed peacefully, continuing to sleep as she leaned up and kissed his lips, trying to wake him. Carson stirred, grumbling low as his eyes met the first light of day and the soft smile of his bride in his arms.

"Wonderful first morning, Mrs. Carson." His voice rumbled low, but his heart sighed deeply.

"Wonderful first morning, Mr. Carson." She blushed leaning up to kiss him again, her feet intertwining gently with his legs as she melted into his embrace and he kissed the tip of her nose very gently.

"Have I told you how happy I am you came away with me?" He asked, tears in his eyes.

"No. But I will be sure to tell you how happy I am for the rest of our days." She whispered, nuzzling him softly.

He chuckled warmly, taking her back in his embrace and rolling over on top of her. She giggled aloud as he brushed her lips with a gentle kiss.

"Oh how I love thee my beautiful bride." He paused, searching her bright sparkling blue eyes as they gazed up at him in wonderment.

His heart skipped a beat, the curve of her lips and the light in her eyes were enough on their own to steal his heart away and they had, but now, the next morning, after a first, passionate night spent alone together, he couldn't even calculate how he felt about her, or how deep his love had grown. He couldn't then fathom it and would never be able to. His soul sighed under the weight of what she meant to him and he continued, speaking from the heart.

"And how I promise to make you happy for the rest of our days."


	6. Mrs

Ch 6 - Mrs.

"Hmmm I wish we didn't have to do this Mr. Carson." She mumbled and he kissed her cheek.

The next morning's sun shone through the tightly shut curtains, waking the new couple against their will. It'd been some time since morning's first light but the two had resisted it, taking their time together. She sighed, her breath tickling his bare chest and smiled deeply, feeling the low rumble of his laughter reverberate through his entire being.

She smiled, getting on her hands and crawling up toward him. He took her in his arms and hugged her tight. She looked up into his eyes as he leaned down, brushing her lips with his own. They'd taken their time that morning, making love and falling back asleep in each other's comfortable embrace time and time again. Elsie sighed, laying her head on his shoulder this time, her hand over his heart, noting that his embrace felt more like home to her than anywhere she'd ever been.

"Elsie." He whispered, his breath tickling her cheek. He ran his fingers all the way up her arm, taking her hand in his own as he leaned down to kiss her.

Charles Carson was a man obsessed. Since he'd met her, Elsie constituted every waking thought, breath and beat of the heart, and now that she was in his arms, his beautiful, young, nude bride she was so much more than that: she was his everything now. Elsie sighed rolling over in is close embrace, skin-on-skin. She enjoyed the feeling of his soft skin brushing hers, melding into it: the feeling of being one.

Elsie was wholly in love and didn't want to move from that spot in his arms, his chest her pillow. She ached in ways and places she hadn't known one could ache. But it was a satisfactory pain, one that had quieted a mysterious, unacknowledged longing and left her deeply craving more.

"I'm afraid we have to get up." He told her, patting her side and kissing her lips ever so softly.

Elsie's heart sank when he climbed out of bed, a feeling of loss coming over her as he pulled away. She sat up, blushing because it was fully light out and took the bed sheet, pulling it up over her. She watched with young, innocent eyes as he crossed to the restroom, she thought, to find his clothes.

"I will draw us a bath." He said, poking his head out the washroom door.

…

"I wish we didn't have to go back." Elsie admitted sadly.

After their bath the two scrambled down to breakfast and back to the train station. Both knew that too much time had passed and they'd be missed at Downton by now. Charlie squeezed his wife's hand as they stared up at the train.

"So do I, my love."

"My love, I like it." She smiled. "Charlie what if people realize we were gone… how do we explain?"

"I must admit I do not know…"

Elsie was nervous. So many questions remained unanswered. How would they live and where?

"Charlie… we didn't discuss this, did we?"

"You're referring to the fact that butlers and housemaids and cooks cannot be wed?"

"Y-yes."

"Oh my Elsie, I do not care about that. I'd have given up everything in order to be with you." He said, taking both her hands in his. She blushed, putting her head down. He took her chin and brought her eyes back up to his gaze. "Nothing's ever made me so happy as the promise of a life with you."

"Nor I you." She whispered as he kissed her softly and took her hand again.

"I don't know what our life will be just yet… but I know that I don't care as long as it's a life with you." He said as they walked toward the train.

"Nor do I, Mr. Carson…. You're all I've ever wanted." She commented and he smiled so deeply he could've cried.

"Come along Mrs. Carson, let's go home."

…..

Carson and Elsie didn't sit together on the train, not wanting anyone who might be from the village to catch on to the fact that they were traveling together and had clearly spent the night in York. Neither knew what the state of their marriage was or was to be be, only that they were deeply and wholly in love and that that alone would carry them through.

Carson sat several rows and an aisle away from his bride, facing her. The train sped along far too fast for their tastes, and the whole time, the new couple found themselves unable to take their eyes off of each other. In particular, Carson stared back at his wife, his flirtatious gaze almost drilling into her in a way that made her feel like a silly lass who was just ready to go into service. She blushed as he stared back confidently, practically undressing her with his eyes.

His simple gaze was so much more now than what it'd been just the previous evening. Before it was a flirtation, an attraction that drew one of them to the other like magnets. But now it was so much more and all encompassing: a knowing of things unspoken. The gaze of his eyes and the flash of his smile once made her stomach do flips, but now it called her back to a dark, intimate world all their own, one embodied by nothing but shared whispers in the dark, the brush of skin on skin, and the powerful notion that they were man and wife and would never be separated by anything but death… or so they thought.

Elsie blushed almost wishing he would stop staring, but his eyes drilled into her now just as they had all last night. He wouldn't deprive himself the joy of gazing upon his wife especially when he knew that he'd have to control himself from here on out.

"I love you." She mouthed silently from across the train.

"I love you more." He replied in the same fashion.

…

When the train stopped, Charlie and Elsie went their separate ways, blending into the crowd as fast as they could. It would be scandal, after all, if they were caught. Neither knew exactly how to announce their marriage, all they were sure of was that they didn't want to start it off with a scandal. A second train arrived just on he heals of theirs, coming to a halt just as each of them got off the platform. That, however, didn't keep them from hearing the urgent news: Lord and Lady Grantham were on the train.

Charlie panicked inside, knowing that his absence (and Elsie's) would be conspicuous now that the house was expecting Lord Grantham. Elsie understood this as well and so the two took off in separate directions, rushing back to Downton as fast as their feet would carry them, both grateful to have a small head start on the employers whose coach likely wouldn't be ready for several minutes.

The butler and his wife snuck into the house, each scurrying up separate hidden stairs and back to their perspective quarters to change. Elsie quickly put on another dress, knowing Mrs. Patmore would notice if she wore the same one she left in. Elsie dressed quickly, overwhelmed at the notion that her life had been so fundamentally different the last time she'd been in that room. It'd changed forever and yet she wondered what that really meant. After all, they would live apart: she'd still sleep in this room cold and alone; she'd still be Hughes, not Carson.

Breathless, Elsie scrambled downstairs arriving just in time to greet Lord and Lady Grantham and their two little girls. She and her new husband stood at attention as the large staff greeted the family. Elsie watched Beryl out of the corner of her eye, taking note of the fact that she seemed to realize something was different. Years would pass before Elsie would discover that Mrs. Patmore knew that she and Carson had snuck away together that night.

The rest of the staff disbursed but Carson and Elsie stood at attention as the family came into the foyer. Lord and Lady Grantham came first, followed by the five year old Lady Mary and tiny Lady Edith, accompanied by their nannies. Elsie was a bit intimidated by the family and their dynamics, which her husband was so at ease with. She watched as the Lord and Lady kissed their little girls good-bye and the two were swiftly carried away. Elsie didn't know how they did that or why they would choose to. For her part, she knew she could never be away from her children and let them be raised by someone else. She would never guess, now that her own children would be part of Downton's nursery many years from then.

"Ms. Hughes." Cora smiled, turning to Elsie who almost jumped in surprise. It'd been a couple of weeks since she'd seen her, weeks that had contributed to the Lady's now very pregnant state.

' _I_ could be pregnant…' She considered, the thought overwhelming her.

"Miss Hughes, I really do need to speak with you right away, do you suppose that we could talk in the sitting room?"

"Oh um... of course m'lady."

Elsie looked back at her new husband for guidance, wondering what it was the Lady would want to speak of. She was nervous now, what if they wanted to fire her? Would Charlie then end it with her too? What would Charlie say to Lord Grantham, would he tell them of their sudden elopement?

What Elsie didn't understand, was that the family had taken a liking to her. Cora, in particular was very kind to her, something Elsie found almost perplexing, given that the master and mistress of the first house where she'd been in service had not been particularly amiable or very kind.

Cora smiled as the two sat down together and a footman brought in tea. "Please." She said, "I'd like you to have some with me."

"O… oh!" She was surprised.

Cora continued to talk and despite her nervousness, Elsie found herself transfixed with Cora's condition suddenly realizing that she wished, more than anything that she were expecting too.

"Miss Hughes. We hired you as a new maid."

"Yes, m'lady." She said, called to attention at once.

"You've never met our housekeeper, Mrs. Smith?"

"No, m'lady, Mr. Carson and Mrs. Patmore have been the ones to train me and show me the way."

"Although you're good at what you do already." Cora smiled kindly.

"Thank you, m'lady."

"Mrs. Smith has given her notice, she's moving to Lytham St. Anne's to care for her ill sister I'm afraid." Elsie frowned.

Mrs. Smith was getting on in years and Cora had known this was coming for quite some time. The older woman had started there when Robert's father was a young man. What she wasn't going to broadcast was that she'd also run off with Chambers… the butler before Carson.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." Elsie paused.

"Honestly, I hired you with her situation in mind."

"Oh?"

"Miss Hughes? Would you like the job? I think you'd make a wonderful head housekeeper."

"Me? I'm very flattered m'lady I…" Elsie paused, about to say she had to check with her husband but then she realized she couldn't do that. "Yes, I accept."

Elsie was floored. For many years to come, this would be the biggest two days of her life. Married. A promotion she could only dream of as a farmer's daughter. On one hand she was ecstatic and on the other sad as she watched Lady Grantham walk away. Without even thinking much about it, she knew what she wanted most in the world: a baby.

"I hear congratulations are in order, Mrs. Hughes." Her husband said, as he came back into the room where she was now alone, sneaking a bit of flirtation into a very formal sentence spoken not by a lover but by Carson the imposing butler. "You've become a Mrs. twice in not twenty-four hours."

"That's right." She reflected.

"I think that's what I shall call you." He smiled.

"Hmmm?"

"Mrs. Hughes. _My_ _Mrs. Hughes_." He said and she blushed.

"That sounds wonderful, _my Mr. Carson_."

…

"Thank you." Elsie said as Mrs. Patmore shut the door, leaving her all alone in the sitting room, her sitting room.

Elsie looked around in wonder, it was the first place she'd ever really had to call her own and she could barely believe she'd been given the place, in addition she'd been given a new private bedroom upstairs and would no longer have to share with another girl. She almost squealed, wondering how she could possibly have two rooms of her own! But then it hit her, there were other rooms she longed for… one with a marriage bed, one with a warm kitchen all her own… one with a cot…

Elsie turned when there was a knock on the door and opened her mouth in surprise to find her standing there. He closed the door and ducked down, kissing her deeply before she had the chance to speak.

"Hello Charlie." She said, wonderment in her eyes when he pulled away.

"Congratulations my love." His eyes sparkled, but he seemed sad.

"What's wrong?" She asked instantly.

He sighed. "We must discuss Mrs. Smith."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… it seems our predecessors reached the end of their employ here, both in time… and in tolerance."

"What do you mean?"

"Elspeth they… well their relationship was discovered… and considered, inappropriate."

Elsie gasped. "Charlie they…"

"I know. We have a number of choices, my love. We could confess… and quit. We could stay and keep our love a secret, that us until we have our first baby." Elsie smiled deeply at the idea of her first baby, her shyness about it coming off as flirtation.

"So… what would you choose? I don't wish to keep my love for you a secret but I feel it… unwise for us to leave our posts."

"I feel the same."

"And I don't think it too long before we've our first babe…" He considered. "We could put some money away and find a new life in the meantime."

She sighed. "I don't like the idea of living apart but I agree it's for the best."

"Besides. I am proud of my wife, only a few weeks here and she's risen to the top of her profession! I wouldn't want her to give that up on my account not right away."

"Thank you Charlie." She blushed, not realizing that he would be so supportive of her in that way. She'd been told a husband would be anything but.

"And who says we've got to live apart?" He asked.

Elsie said nothing and instead lifted up her newly acquired chatelaines, referencing the many keys she held for the men's, and women's very separate quarters.

"Indeed Mrs. Hughes… as housekeeper only you're allowed to turn the lock."

"Y-you're not suggesting…"

"I'd indeed thought of sneaking into your quarters tonight Mrs. Hughes and absconding with you!"

"Charlie!"

"That is how we shall have to do it until…" He stopped looking down at her as she stared up at him. "Until we've a babe to make us a family." He said quickly. "We will sleep in my room, and in yours and wherever we can. We will sneak about…"

"Charlie sneaking…" Elsie's heart sank, and she found herself thinking she was worthless if he felt the need to sneak about with her. "Charlie perhaps we didn't give marriage a …"

"NO!" He cried placing his mammoth hands on her shoulders. "I love thee, my beautiful Mrs. Carson." He said, cupping her cheek in his hand. "I love thee with every breath in my body and every beat of my heart. We may not have the perfect situation at present, but I will do whatever I can to live with you as man and wife, to show you how much I love you and for us to never ever be apart, for as long as we shall live. We will make a way, Mrs. Carson."

"At that we will." She said, biting her lip and beginning to cry.

….

Elsie's heart began to beat rapidly with the first, swift turn of the lock. She shook as she tiptoed into the men's quarters for the first time, careful not to make a sound. If they were caught, it'd be all over with before it even started. Elsie jumped in terror when a door opened on her right and clasped her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't scream.

'Elsie.' Charlie mouthed, and she sighed with relief.

He took her hand and swiftly pulled her inside, quietly shutting his door before taking her in her arms and kissing her as deeply as he could muster. It was a long, slow kiss that caused her to grow weak in his arms as he ran his large hands along her slender middle. She tilted her head, continuing to kiss him deeply despite the need they both had to come up for air. But neither wanted to be first to break their lip lock.

Elsie was lightheaded once she did and rested against his chest as he kissed her forehead.

"You're here." He smiled, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yes Charlie, your Mrs. is really here, she wouldn't miss a moment with you no matter the risk."

He smiled deeply, turning her to show her the little room that would now be theirs. She gasped, surprised to finally notice that he'd lit candles and poured them champagne. The room was small, but Elsie found it enchanting and loved it because unlike the other rooms, it was a world all their own.

"I love it Charlie." She observed. "For the time we have to be, I think you and I shall be very happy here."

"Splendidly happy. I love you Mrs. Hughes, but now it's time for bed."

…

Charlie and Elsie awoke many hours later, fearful they'd been found out. She said nothing and instead lay pressed against his bare chest, her hand over her womb. He lay next to her, a bright smile spread across the whole of his face in satisfaction as he turned to kiss her.

"I must say that was even more marvelous Mrs. Hughes."

Elsie was in shock, not having realized that this intimate activity would not only get more personal, but also feel better and better as time went on.

"Do you think anyone heard us Mr. Carson?" She asked. That was the problem: his little bed squeaked.

"No." He chuckled, leaning down to kiss her again.

"I wonder how long it'll take?" She asked.

"Hmm?" He asked, kissing her neck.

"Making a babe Mr. Carson." She giggled.

He stopped for a moment, surprised at her phrasing. "Hopefully not too long my Mrs. Hughes. Heaven knows that should've done it."

Elsie laughed, rubbing her nose against his as they started to kiss again. "Yes that should've done it." She said, continuing to kiss him.

He deepened the kiss, taking her cheeks in his hands. She smiled deeply, looking up at him as he caressed her face gently. "Oh my Elsie Carson. I'm so sorry."

"What?!"

"That… we've to hide, I'm so, so sorry." He paused as she looked up sadly at him. "But I promise one day, my Mrs. one day, we will tell the world." He started to laugh and she smiled bright, almost screaming when he grabbed her and pulled her under the covers with him.


End file.
